Sips, Dips and Chips

Memorial Day
Do you have any big plans?
Exotic vaca?

We're going to zoo
staying home, doing nothing.
Sips, dips, chips. No trips.



Thank you vets and have an enjoyable weekend dudettes.

May your feet be up and your hair be down.

Girl. Gone.

Alas. Container
and garden planting is here.
WOOT! Girl gone wired.

Sam's golf league started.
10 hour days now 14.
FORE! Girl gone tired.

If The Shoe Fits

The first time I went clothes shopping after our son was born, I vividly recall wondering where the boys section was?

There were 32 flavors of pink ensembles and only 3 dark blue outfits sporting an optional truck and/or ball logo.

So when I do find something really adorable (translation - something unisex that he undoubtedly will deny in a few years) I, of course, buy it while I still can. I KNOW my remaining wardrobe selection time is limited at best.

Case and point.

Paranoia-Will-Destroy-Ya

The winner of the Guess What contest is none other than one of my favorite bloggerino's Toni.

Toni, you win a virtual bouquet of flowers given to me by my blogging friend and neighbor Kathryn.

The picture was a portion of a beautiful 1929 dining room chair and table set.

cyberchondriac (sy.bur.KAWN.dree.ak) n. A person who imagines they can diagnose diseases because symptoms match those on an Internet site.
—cyberchondria n.

I think that's me.

Last Friday afternoon we were reading Frosty The Snowman for the 50th time (that week) when I found a hard lump the size of an Easter egg on my dog's leg.

I panicked.

I felt the lump over and over and over. And over again.

By Friday evening, after much consultation with Dr. Google, I was certain my dog had cancer and his leg would be amputated. I even found a dog prosthesis.

5 long, fearful days and a vet aspiration appointment later we found out it was a Limpoma (a fatty non-cancerous tumor).

I think a series of unfortunate events in my past coupled with my field of study (computer science; which forces to you to program code for all scenarios including, above all, the worst-case scenario) has made me paranoid.

Self: STOP IT. Step away from Dr. Google.

Haiku - Happy, Sappy 1.5

Happy 1.5
Where did the 18 months go
my sweet, blissful son?

Still a mama's boy,
I know that will change in time.
But let's not rush things.

Fall 2007

An Ideal Valentines - Revisited

BC: Before Child
"How about a candle lit dinner, a movie and chocolate covered strawberries?"

AD: After Delivery
"How about a heart shaped pizza to go and a bag of M&M's?"

How To Make Dinner With A Toddler

1)  Irrationally hope for the best. Give him toys while you start dinner.

2)  4 minutes after that tactic fails, put in a DVD. Long live Elmo!

3)  2 minutes after Elmo fails, encourage a sing-a-long-you're-screwed tune.

4)  Reluctantly unlatch 1 childproof cabinet.

5)  Allow him to obliterate the kitchen.

6)  Quickly, throw something together.

7-12)  Repeat steps 4 and 5 as needed.

13)  If all else fails, allow toddler to humiliate the dog**. Again.

**No pets were harmed during the making of this post.

Haiku - Once

Finally saw Once.
The movie is amazing;
My heart so heavy.

Reality? Check.

What's the best parenting advice you ever got?

Today I made a quick run to Target to pick up a few, which incidentally turned into 30, things. We were approaching naptime and late for lunch.

As our cart entered a quiet aisle, my eyes locked with Metro-Mom's eyes. She was 10ish years my senior and had snob embroidered on her coat (not really). My son started shabbering (shouting + jabbering) "MAMA, MAMA" repeatedly.

Fearful of invading Metro-Mom's quiet space, I started to hush him. The tactic failed admirably. Between the rushing and the hushing, I only became agitated.

Metro-Mom smiled and said "Please take my advice and enjoy that. Before you know it, you'll be begging him to talk to you."

This complete stranger's advice spoke to me like a billboard on a highway. Maybe because it was raw, unbiased, unexpected and lacking any agenda.

Self: Slow down. Enjoy the moment. It will be gone far too soon.

From a mother to another.

Many, Many Birds. One Stone.

MeMePhobia (noun): The morbid fear of geting tagged and being unable to fughettaboudit.

This post is a combination of 13 tags from Serina, Bren, T With Honey, Melody, Mango Marie, Queeny and Andrea.

Question #1:  8 things I'm passionate about:
1- My husband
2- My son
3- My pets
4- My family
5- The environment
6- Human rights
7- Animal rights
8- Exploring

Question #2:  8 Things I want to do before I die:
1- Be happily married for 60ish years
2- Travel more
3- Worry less
4- Suprise myself more
5- Be a rocking Grandma
6- Volunteer more
7- Climb a very big mountain
8- Not completely suck at being a MIL

Question #3:  8 Things I say often:
1- No!
2- Stop!
3- Nope!
4- NOOO.
5- No touch.
6- NO. WAY.
7- Sorry, no.
8- I'm just sayin'... (an implied no)

Question #4:  8 Books I’ve read recently:
1- Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
2- Wikinomics - Don Tapscott
3- The World is Flat - Thomas Friedman
4- What to Expect The Toddler Years - Heidi Murkoff (an oxy-moron)
5- The Cat in The Hat - Dr. Seuss
6- Green Eggs and Ham - Dr. Seuss
7- Fox in Sox - Dr. Seuss
8- Lorax - Dr. Seuss

Question #5:  8 Songs I Could Listen to Over and Over
1- Falling Slowly - Glen Hansard
2- Baba O' Reilly - The Who
3- Feeling This - Blink 182
4- Crash - DMB
5- As Is - Ani DiFranco
6- Rain - Breaking Benjamin
7- River - Joni Mitcell
8- I'll Take My Chances - Mary Chapin

Question #6:  8 Things that Attract Me to My Best Friends:
1- Honesty
2- Sincerity
3- Loyalty
4- Humor
5- A lot of humor
6- Fun loving
7- Adventurous
8- Easy going

Question #7:  Books and more books
1- A book that changed my life: A Mighty Heart - Mariane Pearl
2- A book I read more than once: Photography Bible - Daniel Lezano
3- A book you’d want on a desert island: Survival Book - Tony Greenbank
4- A book that made me laugh: If Life Is a Bowl of Cherries - Erma Bombeck
5- A book that made me cry: A Mighty Heart - Mariane Pearl
6- A book I wish I wrote: Green Eggs and Ham - Dr. Seuss
7- A book I wish was never written: Confessions of a Heiress - Paris Hilton
8- A book I am currently reading: Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
9- A book I’ve been meaning to read: Age of Turbulence - Alan Greenspan

Question #8:  5-10 courses you would take to fix your life
1- How To Cook and Like It
2- How To Clean and Like It
3- How To Change Diapers Without Gagging
4- How To Teach Your Dog To Clean Up His Own Output
5- How To Chill Out

Question #9:  My discipline philosophy
1- Always be united and enforce tough love when needed.

Question #10:  Use the 1st letter of your name to answer
1. Famous Singer: Mann, Aimee
2. Four Letter Word: Moan
3. Street: Main
4. Color: Magenta
5. Gifts/Present: Mister Twister
6. Vehicle: Mazaradi
7. Things in a Souvenir Shop: Men
8. Boy Name: Mike
9. Girl Name: Mikaela
10. Movie title: Mississippi Burning
11. Drink: Milk
12. Occupation: Mom
13. Celebrity: Michael J. Fox
14. Magazine: Moms-R-Us
15. City: Milwaukee
16. Sports: Motorsports
17. Fruit: Mango
18. Reason for Being Late to work: Man
19. Something you throw away: Messy diapers
20. Something you shout: Move!

Question #11:  Favorite travel destionation and why.
Fiji. It's an island in the middle of nowhere. Need I say more?

Question #12:  Qualities you do not like in people.
I dislike people with big mouths and small brains.

Question #13:  A letter to your 13 year old self.
Dear 13 Year Old Self,
Life is very short and often hard. Have fun and finish medical school.
Peace. out.

I Shoulda Been a Hairdresser

For 2 limited months in the 3rd grade I was a full-blown girly-girl.

I was certain I would grow up and become a hairdresser. So certain, I gave all my Barbie dolls the Sinead O' Connor do. Then my Mom took them all away and I was back to tomboy tendencies in no time.

Today was my son's first haircut. At 16 months he was starting to sport a chullet (the child mullet) and needed a trim.

His hairstylist went out of his way to make him happy and comfortable, which in turn, made me happy and comfortable. And very thankful.

Maybe I should embrace my inner girly-girl voice more often.

Operation Toy Room - The Finale

Operation Toy Room is complete. It took 3 months, 2 ulcers, 1 canned contractor and lots of sweat-equity. I could write paragraphs about our contractor but it would only fill me with angst and you with boredom.

We built our house 7 years ago and thought we'd never run out of room. Then our son was born. And the toys have held us hostage.

When my sister bought our son this evil tent monstrosity (which dayum he loves), it pushed us over the edge to remodel our basement.

We added a toy room, a family room, an exercise room and a bathroom. Nothing fancy, just extra space I don't have to clean up if I don't want to.

[images]

Happy New Year

New Year = New Me. Hear ye, hear ye. I changed my profile name. My 16 month son said "Mama Gee" (translation "Mama Geek") and it stuck.

So WorksForMom is now MamaGeek.

We had a fun, fast, memorable Christmas.

Our son loved opening gifts more than the gifts themselves, was mesmerized by anything with wheels attached and has completely fallen for Elmo.

Anything. Elmo. Am I doomed?

We've had 5 holiday par-tays in the past 7 days and I'm tired (and completely sick of taco dip). I need a restivus following this festivus.

Happy New Year Everyone! May you party like a rock star. OR, stay home, rent a movie and fall asleep before midnight (my personal favorite).

Deep Thoughts

Today's post is brought to you by the letter Y.


Why am I spending so much time on Amazon.com?

Why do I always lose the tape while wrapping gifts?

Why is Christmas so much more magical with a child?

Why have I waited so long to use parchment paper?

Why does my dog favor people wearing black pants?

Why are Wii's out of stock everywhere?

Why do I never have enough Christmas cards?

Why do people open a store credit card to save a mere $2.00?

Why am I always behind the aforementioned shopper?


I'm just sayin'.

Haiku - A Krank Christmas?

2 Christmas parties
I have to host this weekend.
Clean. Cook. Bake. Wrap. Prep.

The Kranks had it right.
Should have planned a vacation?
Tired already.

The Biggest Loser

My husband and I are board game junkies. Often when our son, relentlessly, surrenders to sleep we play a game. He generally defeats me in Trivial Pursuit (damn that Sports category) every single time.

I'm a Scrabble-a-holic. I've never lost a game. I've even memorized all the 2 letter combinations. My husband typically consumes all his time analyzing his word tray, only to lay down "THE" before the timer expires.

Until Sunday. He hitched an "S" to my word and got 2 triple word points.


I. am. defeated. He has perma-smirk. No, I'm not bitter about the loss.

Yes I am.

So can anyone recommend a good board game?

Thank-Me-Very-Much

Each Christmas there are 2 relatives who we are obligated to buy gifts for. Trust me when I say obligated.

They don't acknowledge anyone with swift verbal thank yous nor have they ever sent Thank You e-mails or cards. Yet they send wish lists in October.

Would a little verbal hollaback hurt?

This year, I'm thinking of sticking in pre-addressed, postage paid ThankMeVeryMuch cards with their gifts. Now if only I were brave.

Snowed In

Yes, we visited Santa. Unfortunately, even Rima's excellent advice of backing him in didn't work. Within a nano-second of hitting Santa's velvet pants, he screamed his head off.

However, the elves said we have an excellent chance at winning The Best Screaming Shot of 2007 Award. Sa-weet!

When the forecast called for 12 inches of snow, I was initially irritated because we were forced to cancel all our plans and stay in this weekend.

Hello, stupid.

We got our Christmas tree decorated.


We played outside until our extremities froze.


And we watched the best Christmas story ever for the 102nd time.May you all get snowed in soon. And often.

Haiku - Santa's Wet Knee

Santa, here we come.
First trip to get a photo
I hope he smiles.

When I was a kid
I was terrified of Claus.
Even wet his knee.

The Gift of Trash

While waiting in line to checkout this weekend, I struck up a little witty banter with the lady in front of me. She asked if I liked Rachel Ray. I nodded. Who doesn't?

She showed me her cart contents. She had 3 Rachel Ray Garbage Bowls (retailing at $20 each) for each of her daughter-in-laws. A garbage bowl. A bowl to throw trash in while making dinner. For $20. Each. That's $60 worth of trash bowls.

Does anyone else find that a tad bit amusing?

She inquired if I would like one for Christmas.

"Oh, I just use grocery bags or a plastic bowl and "

She cut me off mid-stream and started to chuckle. An evil, deep cackle.

The cashier asked if she wanted gift reciepts. She declined. And grinned.

The garbage bowl episode is still making me giggle 3 days later. I wonder if she really liked the bowls or really dis-liked the daughter-in-laws.

Let the Holidaze commence.