Jock Itch, Aisle 4
Being the germaphobe that I am, I generally don't look forward to my child's wellness exams. Somehow the signs that virtually designate the 'healthy children' from the 'sick children' waiting areas (seriously, who thunk that up) make me twitch just a bit (just kidding, not really).
I inquired about a rash on my son's hand to our pediatrician.
"Oh, that's just ringworm. No big deal".
No big deal?
NO BIG DEAL?
NO BIG DEAL?
In 1.7 seconds, I free associated ringworm to tapeworm to the Ebola virus.
She prescribed an OTC cream and off we went to our pharmacy. I couldn't find the cream, so I stood in line and asked our pharmacist where it was.
In a gargantuan voice he bellowed "PHYLLIS, CAN YOU HELP THIS LADY WITH JOCK ITCH, AISLE 4?"
Thank you, asshat.
Apparently, jock itch cream cures ringworm. The little, old lady in back of me immediately stepped back to distance herself and forced a hellacious smile.
"Oh don't worry, we don't have jock itch, just ringworm".
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Ha! You should see the GoogleAds on your site for this post.
oh we have so been there! good luck!
Ugh, I think ringworm is pretty common in kids. My neice had it awhile ago.
Funny post!
As the wife of a pharmacist and former pharmacy technician (way, way back), let me say that pharmacists LIVE for opportunities like this. They do.
BTW, at least he didn't shout out where the LICE meds were! (:
Very, very funny!
I started to itch just reading that.
Good Luck!!!
Ringworm? I have never heard about that being common in kids!
how embarrassing! But hopefully the treatment works. I remember when I had to by anti-fungal cream for my son's daiper rash. Sort of embarrassing too!
I started twitching reading this! Just wait until he goes to preschool and comes home with a note about "hand, foot and mouth" disease!
Asshat...my new favorite word! Sorry for the embarassing moment..but it is rather funny!
This is hilarious! (Sorry)
My son had ringworm once and it freaked me out too.
OMGosh!
Thank you for the giggle at your guys' expense. :)
Hope his ringworm goes away soon!!
We used to play a game along those lines in college.
Walking into a pharmacy or grocery store, one of us would yell to the other, "Hey, did that chlamydia ever clear up?"... or something equally as mortifying.
I've seen that happen in movies. Never heard about it happening in real life. HA!
NOOO! That's terrible. I can't believe they screamed it out. Good grief.
Haha! You should have brushed against her as you passed just for good measure!
And how funny! I say "asshat" all the time! Isn't it a great insult?
Like our kids don't embarrass us enough? Now the pharmacist has to too?
I'm sorry that I'm laughing. It's not funny. Hope the ringworm goes away, or dies. Whatever they do. :)
Ugh!
HA - twitch and itch - HA! That was so funny! Sorry about the ringworm - but the story was hilarious! Have a good Monday - see ya. Kellan
That is HYSTERICAL! Well, not the ringworm, but the drugstore scene.
HAHAHA! That was so funny....
Although, I think I would have reacted the same way as you about the ringworm. How do you get it anyway?
Okay, I'm sorry but I had to have a nice little chuckle at that first. I'm imagining the woman helping you just freaking out. Haha!
Hopefully it gets better soon!!
Kids get ringworm a lot. And I'm sure you already know it- but it's a fungus not a worm. Why not just call it ringfungus? Anyhoo- since I used to teach preschool I have had ringworm more times than I care to share. And boy does it itch like crazy and take forever to clear up.
And sorry- but I did have a nice laugh at your expense this morning.
OH NO! That is so embarassing! I always freak out when they send those papers home with our kids with a, "There is a child in this class with (check mark) HAND FOOT MOUTH DISEASE. Remember the Google doctor stuff...you will drive yourself nuts when they go to preschool. "There is a child in this class with (check mark) LICE!
It's so freakin fun!
OMG how awful that they did that! I hope your little man feels better soon.
Too funny! I don't get embarrassed that easily, but I've always found it a little irritating when medical professionals talk louder than I think is necessary! Why is it that the receptionist in the crowded doctor's office always seems to be deaf?!
Asshat -- I love that! I so need to remember this one!
MadTV had a skit (not sure if it was regular or not) about the pharmacist yelling out everyone's very embarrassing diasnosis - hemmeroids (no time to spell check), VD, relentless diarrhea, etc. It was funny. You gave me an idea for a post, too. Thanks.
KEEP BELIEVING
*ROFL* YES! We had this too! Ours turned out to be just a different eczema breakout but when we thought it was ringworm they told us to get this cream. I had my husband go in and get it. He came out rather upset that there is a big picture of a man's area on the box. He said he felt dirty buying it. hahaha It should just leave it at antifungal. Definitely not just for jock itch. haha
Nice! I'm loving your Google Ads right now. They are almost as funny as the lady backing away.
OMG! I would have been embarrassed!
Oh too funny! I hope the jock itch cream helps the ringworm. Hehe. That was kinda fun to write. ;)
They need to rename ringworm to something not so scary sounding. That would make me twitch less...I think. ;-)
I LOVE the designated 'well' and 'sick' sides at the Dr's office, but do NOT look forward to sitting on the 'sick' side. Baby is almost 10 months and hasn't been sick yet (other than the 7 weeks in the NICU) and I am NOT looking forward to having to sit on the sick side. I think I'll wait OUTSIDE instead.
Yes, jock itch preventative does work for ringworm. Sorry he caught it, although he probably picked it from someone else at school. It's pretty contagious if I remember correctly. Both my kids wrestle and it's always a fear of mine they will come home with it. Athlete's foot is bad enough but I don't need that one too. Tactile sports like wrestling seem to breed sickness every year and it's enough to turn someone into a serious germophob.
Good luck.
Don't you just love overhead intercoms? They embarrass you and reunite you with your lost children. So helpful.
ha ha! Well at least it wasn't for you. If you were all by your self and he yelled JOCK ITCH...you may have gotten more stairs :)
Do they have Moronic Salve for that pharmacist?
OMG, he might as well have belted out that you need KY Je11y and a basket o' c0nd0ms! A$$hat is right! (How many questionable vocabulary words can I use in one comment? Don't worry, I'm employing code characters to thwart the 'bots.)
This post cracked me up!
Argh! fricking pharmacists, always so full of tacts, I see. Thought that was only at my place. Guess they deliberately misplace those creams. Might never know with asshats.
Ugh. What a what! Hehe. Btw, I hope the ringworm's all cured now.
Aw! I'm sorry your little man has Ringworm. That seriously sucks. Thankfully he just needs the cream :D
Hope he gets better soon!!
Seriously, Ringworm SHOULD be called Ringrash or Ringfungus!
I'm part (about 1-32th or 1-64th) Scot ... does that make me a Jock?
HA HA HA HA HA
Is it wrong that I'm totally laughing AT you?! ;)
lol....this is making me laugh. I so hate it when people announce stuff like that LOUDLY for everyone to hear. ugh....
I need a run through some bleach!! ARGH!
Oh no! Ring-worm completely freaks me out!
...to ebola...hahahahahaha.
I think I'm twitching over here...
:)
No Big Deal. I would be annoyed, too.
What I have learned as a mom, jock itch cream for ringworm, foot fungus cream for diaperrash...Hmm, who knew?
Press on the Donkey?? He**! Why bother, I was already laughing! :)
Seriously, hope he is doing better.
I vote u write a book! Or have u already. Your humorous writing is my daily dose of uplifting! Love it...hopefully your son's tingworm will be clearing up...hIllArious with the old lady...LMAO!!! Too funny...Pharmacists...can't blame them, this is the only action they get from behind that counter and all...HA!
Because I have such a cynical attitude about the pharmaceutical industry (and marketing manipulations in general) ... I examined the closely-situated tubes of 'jock-itch' ointment and 'athlete's foot' ointment. Upon seeing the similarities in ingredient listings between the two, I inquired, of the pharmacist, what the differences actually were. "Oh, that's easy" was his reply "the 'jock itch' ointment is 40% higher IN PRICE. We know how to prioritize pricing. [chuckle,chuckle]"
I wonder if it works on hives... good post .. I hope his hand is all better now...
David sent me
hilarious...sort of....no, extremely!!
ringworms...i guess that is better than lice, right?
well, at least now i know how to cure it, when my kids get ringworms...
xoxo
traveled here from Dave's....glad I did! good post.
my boy caught RW from sleeping over at his friends house, like you, it sent me into panic mode.
wayyyyy better than lice, we've never had it but JUST the thought....ew
Confession: I HAD RINGWORM. But this was when I was twenty and living in England . . . and I have noooooo idea how I got it. Maybe those Brits with all their horses?
Anyway, it was gross. I remember going to the doctor and him taking a look and saying: "Good God!" Not what you want to hear from your doctor. But the cream worked nicely, thanks, and I have remained ringworm (and lice) free ever since.
twitching at the word "ringworm"? Yeah that is me. That is almost as bad as the word "lice". I am so sorry. Really it isn't so bad. We had to deal with it, ringworm, a couple of times a few years ago when we lived in a humid tropical area. So, I feel your pains.
And the way pharmacists do....I think they take a class on how to make sure everyone in the store knows your issue.
David sent me over. Thanks for the laugh this morning.
Oh, Mamageek, I feel for you! My son had the worst cast of jock itch last summer, he was miserable, and mortified to go to the doctor, but what are you gonna do? I was told that jock itch, ringworm and athlete's foot are all basically the same thing, tinnea, it just strikes different areas of the body. My son had baseball, football, and basketball summer camps one after the other, so he was wearing wet clothes all day, hence the rash. Yucky to say the least!
Hope your son's rash is clearing up!
Lizzy
HILARIOUS!
*asshat* particularly made me laugh.
I once got ringworm, and to prove to me how contagious it was, it quickly spread all over my body. I looked like either (a) an elf had kissed me all over or (b) I was sporting some new kind of leopard suit in a funky color.
David M sent me over your way. Thanks for the laugh! Peace - D
OMG! That is SO SO funny!
But I do hope it helps!!
xoxo
Linda
Did you hear the horrible news? Brett Favre retiring? I'm seriously about to bawl.
The end of an era.
sniff, sniff
At least we got to see his last game, right?
How did that woman behind you not burst out laughing?! She probably ran right home and called all her friends.
Something like that is just to funny.
No, I haven't read her book yet. But I have already written a tribute post and have her little video blurb in there. You know the one, "My Brett, Our Favre.". It breaks me every time.
sigh.
I can't decide if I should just post it now or tomorrow. Hmmm
hehehehe! :)
That is hilarious! I associate ringworm withs cats, because when I was growing up the neighbor girls had it all the time and they had at least thirty cats!
When my children's school in Beaconsfield (England) sent home to notes to all the parents that several cases of lice had been discovered and that all the children had to be treated "to err on the side of caution" I began to scream, itch and swear simultaneously. The best part of children growing up and leaving home? Hopefully you never have to deal with anything that has the word "lice" in it. Oh pardon me, have an insane desire to scratch!
Sandi
That is so WRONG it's funny! FUnny as in hysterical!
ROFLMAO! Mamageek you are a mess..tapeworm, ebola virus! My head would have run circles like too. I hope your little guy feels better soon!
I know it's supposed to be common like lice, but gah!
Once again, I LOVE your sense of humor! And thanks for the tip...when we have that problem, I'll just quietly make my way to the jock itch aisle without asking...
Oh, and I know I am about 12 in maturity years, but everytime I hear the word asshat I laugh like an idiot.
Funny. This made me laugh, because at my in-laws over Christmas, we played Guesstures. I got the word "jock strap" and of course it was worth double the points of the other word. I had to take the challenge, but I was quite embarassed!
heehee, you said asshat. (said in a beavis and butthead voice)
Very funny post Girl -
David sent me......
LOL!!!
Funny! Jock itch...heh.
Ha! This is hilarious... jock itch indeed!!!
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