Thursday, February 07, 2008

How To Make Dinner With A Toddler

1)  Irrationally hope for the best. Give him toys while you start dinner.

2)  4 minutes after that tactic fails, put in a DVD. Long live Elmo!

3)  2 minutes after Elmo fails, encourage a sing-a-long-you're-screwed tune.

4)  Reluctantly unlatch 1 childproof cabinet.

5)  Allow him to obliterate the kitchen.

6)  Quickly, throw something together.

7-12)  Repeat steps 4 and 5 as needed.

13)  If all else fails, allow toddler to humiliate the dog**. Again.

**No pets were harmed during the making of this post.

86 COMMENTATORS:

Sandy Carlson said...

That was fun, and it brought back memories! I wonder how many moms actually sit down to a hot meal before their kids are 4 years old!

God bless.

The Happy Housewife said...

Funny, sounds way too familiar!

Alasandra said...

I miss those days.

Cute TT.

Chuck said...

are you serious? oh. my. gosh. i just didn't see that in your words - in the comments - on my blog. wow. hang in there sister.

mommybytes.com said...

Oh yeah, still living it! Great list.

I have a good life said...

That is SOOOOOOOOOOOO my life! I can add: "How to put on makeup with a Toddler" and show the contents of my bathroom cabinets all over the floor, too! :)

Leanne said...

I remember! Now that mine are older, they still want to 'help'. It now takes about an hour to put dinner together and most of the time I only have about fifteen minutes....

Great pictures. I really like the one of the dog, you'll be happy you have these pics when they're older!

Toni said...

That dog is so cute and tolerating!

My little guy does the same thing- obliterate the cabinets, I mean- and then stand directly behind me so every time I move, he gets knocked down and then cries. Ugh.

Sometimes I just make cereal for all of us when my husband is working!

ellen b. said...

Those were the days my friend, I thought they'd never end...
but they did! :)

jennwa said...

Cooking time with toddlers, always fun. Ha Ha!! Just wait until they want to help.

Cecily R said...

I am so right there with you!! You know, when I actually cook...

Ornery's Wife said...

Love the dog picture. Don't miss the fixing dinner with a toddler. This too shall pass!
TM

The Gal Herself said...

Oh, poor puppy! Still, it looks kinda fun. Thanks for visiting my TT.

Life As I Know It said...

The tupperware cabinet was always a life saver when I was trying to make dinner with toddlers.

flutter said...

HA! Poor pooch

workout mommy said...

it's good to know I'm not the only one!

Elaine A. said...

I have used the practices many times at my house too. Your dog is SO cute!

I like your blog, I will be back to visit!

Miranda said...

Lol...that was a great list. My kids are all grown up, but I remember those days.

Great list!!
Happy TT!!

SuburbanCorrespondent said...

All these nostalgic moms with kids all grown up are scaring me...am I really going to miss these days? Aack.

girlymom said...

Looks like a little busy body. Your dog is so patient! How was dinner?

Sandee (Comedy +) said...

I so remember. I really, really do. Don't worry, when they are teenagers you can't get them to move at all. Have a great TT. :)

WORKING MOM said...

Oh my goodnessm God bless you. When I saw your pic I don't know how I ever got through that stage, but the pic makes me miss those stages.

Bren said...

Oh, how funny! Great post, my friend!

I unlatch that childproof cabinet ALL the time! It's really the only way, ya know?

MondaythroughSunday said...

LOL..I love it! Great post!

tommie said...

very cute...I totally remember those days.

Happy Thursday!

suchsimplepleasures said...

so familiar. my son doesn't humiliate the dog, though...he bams her with light sabers...but, she retaliates...she uses a bone as a sword!!
fun stuff!

Jenni said...

Thank God for older siblings. They help keep the 2 year old entertained.

Of course, now I have 3 little helpers who want to crack eggs, stir and generally annoy the snot out of the cook.

Brenda ND said...

Very funny! I remember those days when my kids were little. Happy TT!

mom huebert said...

Great picture! When my kids were little I had one drawer in the kitchen that just had stuff they could play with. Wow. That's been a while, and I had forgotten till your post revived the memory. Thanks!

Lori said...

OMG...that is too funny. I totally remember those days. Its hard to cook dinner with a teenager too...you cant keep them out of the kitchen long enough to get anything done because they want to constantly pick at the food:) Happy TT my friend.

Kellan said...

Adorable and the PERFECT post!! Take care - Kellan

byrningbunny said...

Oh, I can so relate. And unfortunately, so can all of our pets.

LaskiGal said...

Ha ha . . . I'm glad to see no pets were harmed. Too funny. When making dinner (if I am ever so lucky), I might strap J in a the carrier and let him "make" dinner with me until he screams, put him in the highchair until he screams. Put him in the Exersaucer until he screams. Put him in the swing until he screams. Then I scream and call for pizza.

Serina Hope said...

Oh wow..so you have been watching me cook dinner..

Queeny said...

Sound advice. I'm sure it worked like a charm.

The Egel Nest said...

We do this every day...

Although Elmo usually works for about 10 minutes around here :)


Bradley
The Egel Nest

Corey~living and loving said...

Brillant post. Super cute picture of the dog.

oh and I recognize several things on your floor. WE have much of the same. :)

Natalie said...

Have you been spying on us or something? ;)

Cafe Mommy - said...

You are truly great! Love your writing style, so true, yet so entertaining! Love it, love it...you got everything down pat! Good to see the dog loves the attention!

Family Adventure said...

So, so cute. :)

Heidi

Holly said...

LOL!!!

Darla said...

Heh. Boy, it's nice to have kids old enough to entertain themselves while I'm making dinner... or better yet, old enough to be of real help. :)

Hang in there--toddlerhood lasts a lot less time than it seems like. :)

Head Gaggler said...

Haha, that was soo true. He's too cute, and the doggie too.

Kathryn said...

Or you could strap the toddler down like I do (bouncer or highchair) and listen to the wails and screams the whole time you are cooking. Good times.
Love the pics! I think I want to adopt your dog. Are you willing? Probably not.

Burgh Baby's Mom said...

You nailed that one right on the head. And our husbands wonder why most food is instant during the toddler years . . .

Anonymous said...

I'm fortunate. All of my children love to watch me make dinner. Occassionally they ask to help mix something but it's never really that bad. My toddler is probably the best one.
It can definitely get chaotic I will admit that.
www.marnini.wordpress.com

cube said...

Those were the days. I'd gladly trade in the teen years for the toddler years again.

BTW I didn't know your dog is Jewish ;-)

storyteller said...

Ohmygosh! What a riot (from the outside looking in), and of course a sense of humor helps too, right? I just LOVE dogs. Great picture!
Hugs and blessings,

Amanda said...

I am really really lucky. When I am in Indonesia, I have a girl that lives with me to help around the house and cook.

But here in Malaysia, I know exactly what you mean.

Lizzy in the Burbs said...

Hi!

When my boys were little I bought them some play food (I think Fisher Price) and a small pretend stovetop. They would "cook" their dinner while Mommy cooked hers. Did keep them busy for awhile!

Lizzy

MamaArcher said...

HAHA! That was great!! I can SO relate to that one!!

TD said...

Sounds like our household! :)

Amy Y said...

Cute! That puppy is such a good sport :)

Stacie said...

omygoodness....ain't it the truth! LOL

THE MOM BOMB said...

The fact that you tried to "throw together" anything at all is valiant, lady. I've blacked out most of the toddler years, but I remember a lot of take-out.

At first, I thought the dog was wearing a yarmulke.

peppermint t said...

I have a baby gate across my kitchen door. I know that probably makes me a bad mother -- not letting my kids (actually just my 2 year old) participate in cooking. But the rest of the house is childproofed -- so I let him destroy everything besides the kitchen while I cook.

mommyof5 said...

Very cute and so true. I have 5 little ones and this is the reason I don't cook. My hubby does. And the few times I have it nake me want to pull my hair out. The 3 boys are fighting with eachother. And every couple of minutes they come in and say so and so did this and so and so did this. The other one will say only because he did it first. And the my little girl will come in scream because some one did something she didn't like (she is almost 2 so she can't communicate that well.) And then the baby (5 months), will be crying because he is on the floor on his belly for the billonth time and is mad. So I put him in his bounce seat. Help the daughter and tell the boys to get alone. Knowing that in about 4 minutes they will be out again with another issue. All the while I am tired and not wanting to cook. But have already started so I have to finish. And by the end of dinner I have a headache, tons of dishes to wash, a baby to feed, and still haven't to eat myself. But hubby, Grandma, and all 4 kids have. And then I remember why I don't like cooking yet. Maybe when they are older.

Amy said...

Wow! That sounds like my house...but times two. The dinner hour is so challenging. It is lucky we ever eat :)

OneLuvGurl said...

lol! Love the last picture!

http://blog.mysocalledsite.com/?p=199 Happy TT! :)

Susan Helene Gottfried said...

Oh, I've been there. I finally gave in and left the cabinets unlatched and you know what? All the charm went out of them.

I needed an excuse to change over to All-Clad anyway... *grin*

Hang in there. This stage doesn't last forever; it just feels like it.

RachelT said...

ha ha.. I have so been there! Pizza delivery anyone?

gumdropsandbubblethoughts said...

Your dog is so adorable!

Those days surely pass and you'll surely miss it. Believe me. ;P

Mercy's Maid said...

I love #13! Adorable!

Bloggers said...

That looks like my kitchen all day long. I have a cabinet in the bottom where I keep all plastic items and he can play with them! All kinds of toys and he has more fun with a plastic bowl.

wheelsonthebus said...

Now, there is reason enough to have a dog.

Emily

Sandy C. said...

Oh that was so fun! Those pics are amazing as always :)

susiej.com said...

You definitely have patience!

Melanie said...

I don't even get 4 minutes with step number 1! Isn't it fun? These are the days!!

LunaNik said...

LOL...

Unfortunately, the last time I let the kiddos play in the cabinets my oldest bonked her head and got herself a nasty little cut right on her eyebrow.

MetaMommy said...

Wow. It's like you were in my kitchen last night. Don't know what I was thinking with the whole "sure, I'll make dinner" thing.

Janet said...

Yeah, exactly *when* does making dinner get easier? 8.5 years in and it still sucks the donkey.

Pann said...

oh, that was just the best post!

I know I've said this before, but I adore your dog!

And the kiddo looks like a cutie pie too. :)

secret agent mama said...

LOVE IT!!!!!! :D

chantelle said...

Reminds of the craziness that is my life. :)

mommyof5 said...

I am very lucky to have a wonderful man that cooks, you are right. It is something we had discussed before you got married. But I would like to help more when the kids get bigger and I have more time

CrankMama said...

Oh yes. That looks so familiar. Except hot dinner for me is anything that will fit in a toaster oven. Unless Hubs is cooking...

*carrie* said...

Ah, yes. Unleashing a toddler with the Tupperware cabinet. Looks familiar.

ValleyGirl said...

Too funny!! So far, the videos work for us around here! But then, my kids are a little older than toddlers, maybe that's way! My problem is more the youngest always wants to help with dishes...

Pennies In My Pocket said...

Oh how funny!! This reminds me to get child locks on the cabinets! hahahaaha j/k

~melody~

Ana said...

ROFL! Ms Mamageek you have a way of describing things in the most HILARIOUS way!

How come this scenario seems all too familiar??? It's because when Lil Man was around his age he used to do the same.

Just Seeking said...

My kids are always torturing the poor dogs! and I let them, dang it, keeps them out of my hair! :-)

Chrissy said...

Sounds very familiar, but try adding a 3 month old to the mix!

david mcmahon said...

That's just brilliant, especially the last picture!

Sosunaolata said...

The dog picture is precious!

CindyS said...

Boy that brought back memories. You would think that in 30 years they could have come up with something to entertain a toddler better than the kitchen cabinets. My children and now my grandchildren still like that better than their toys, tv, video games.... Sigh.

JHS said...

Thanks for contributing this post to this week's Carnival of Family Life, hosted at This Full House. Be sure to stop by on Monday, March 10, 2008, and support your fellow participants by checking out all of their wonderful contributions.