Reality? Check.
What's the best parenting advice you ever got?
Today I made a quick run to Target to pick up a few, which incidentally turned into 30, things. We were approaching naptime and late for lunch.
As our cart entered a quiet aisle, my eyes locked with Metro-Mom's eyes. She was 10ish years my senior and had snob embroidered on her coat (not really). My son started shabbering (shouting + jabbering) "MAMA, MAMA" repeatedly.
Fearful of invading Metro-Mom's quiet space, I started to hush him. The tactic failed admirably. Between the rushing and the hushing, I only became agitated.
Metro-Mom smiled and said "Please take my advice and enjoy that. Before you know it, you'll be begging him to talk to you."
This complete stranger's advice spoke to me like a billboard on a highway. Maybe because it was raw, unbiased, unexpected and lacking any agenda.
Self: Slow down. Enjoy the moment. It will be gone far too soon.
From a mother to another.
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Now you've gone and made me cry.
Hmm, so very true! Thanks for the reminder to slow down and enjoy the "noise." :)
Have you heard the new Trace Adkins song...You're Gonna Miss This? It's a good one that hits a nerve. It's always nice to hear comments like that. :)
She's right. That is awesome advice. I think we all need to remember that. I know I do.
That is great advise, thanks for reminding me.
Great advice and a good reminder.
Mine would be: Reach for the moon, even if you miss, you land among the stars. It reminds to go for what I want even if I think I will fail.
Awesome advice but so hard to remember when you are in the thick of things!
i love when strangers do that for you.
Amazing how a stranger's words can be so powerful.
That's good advice for me, too!
That's really great !! I've been thinking similar things ... look at this post I did just last night.
I always imagine that women like that are judging me (and finding me wanting). How nice that she had something nice to say.
Yup. It's true. Altho I'm lucky in that my 17 year old son still will take a couple minutes and gab with the old bag! He'll even go shopping and to dinner with me. I know. Shocking. My 11 year old daughter still seems to tell me TOO MUCH! But enjoy -- truly!
Signs, signs everywhere there signs (remember that song)? I love that last line...
Calli
what an experience! I love that she totally was different from your expectation. I find that is the case so often. i see people as pretty (but shallow), or organized (perfect mother), etc... I htink that all of us tend to classify people before we give them a chance. I love that she did not mind your child's voice at all!!!
Oh MG...so very true.
Your post is soooo on ... about slowing down, but also about perspective. Metro-mom is cool. Ya never know until ya get to know inside what the outside is reallly all about.
That is easy to read, and hard to do when I am in the middle of dual toddler chaos. Thanks for the reminder...I need to try harder:)
Ooooh - I thought you were going to say that she ticked you off and then you went all mushy on me - cool!!! Great advise - we older women know a thing or two - oh, wait a minute - not me - I have 4 kids, ages of 6 - 15, I don't know a da** thing - I need someone to stop me in the aisles of Target and set me straight. Great post - see you soon. Kellan
Trust your instincts. If you can't hear them... then wait.
That is wonderful and so true.
Tonight Monkey dumped my whole shredder on the ground.. my first instinct: get mad. luckily, I waited a beat and saw the fun they were having. I spent 45 minutes playing in shredded paper with my kids.
My dad's advice: Wait for your second instinct to kick in, that's your brain talking. You will be happier and your children will love you that much more. :-)
or
Pick your battles.
ooohhh---great advice from an unexpected source. Actually, I think all of my bloggy buddies have given me the best advice . . . this advice, to slow down, take it all in, enjoy every moment, know that it will not last.
Because of this, I don't get annoyed when he spits up on me for the 5th time, or when he poos right after I change his diaper, or when he starts crying (I love to comfort him and love to know that I usually have what he needs), or when I realize I've turned into a total sap and tear up whenever I see a sweet baby's face or a loving mother cradling her child. I love the way he looks at me as if I am the most beautiful/funny/awesome/wonderful person he has ever laid eyes on. I know it won't be this way forever.
Great advice . . .
Awww that was very sweet. And ten years from now you will be looking spiffy at Target, I hope you give the same encouraging words to the younger frazzled mamma. That was very sweet. Thank you for sharing. BTW- I just found you today. nIce to meet you.
And always from the least expected.......
Nail on the head. As I push my kids off to bed so I can get back on the computer, you make me remember what's important.
See, you're a "glass is half full" sort of girl. I know some people (possibly me) who might have snarfed at the comment. But then, I'm not as much a "glass is half empty" sort of girl as I am the girl looking for the dead fish in the water.
great reminder.....thanks for sharing it with me.
"Only say 'no' when it's thoroughly necessary-danger, manner training, etc." That was my dad's advice and theory with me. He answered all questions and took great time to let me explore. He does that with my kids too. He was never too busy for me.
You just know how to hit me so I listen! So very true, Mamageek!!! Thanks for the reminder.
Great advice! Thanks.
Wow! Great, unexpected advice; I need it a lot right now. Sometimes it is hard to remember that they will grow all too quickly. Great post...
What a great moment - it makes me mindful of how important it is to reach out to people. When you have the ability to make someone's day, why not do it?
Mama, you say things so well. Thanks for the reminder. Things seem like they're going so fast lately with the kids.
By the way, shabbering is a fantastic word.
That is good advice. I thought about it last night as I was lying between my two kids in bed trying to entice both of them to go to sleep while one of them kicked me and the other one had a strangle hold around my neck so I couldn't leave after she fell asleep. I'm sure I'll miss it one of these days.
One night when my hubby and I were out child-free, we hit Wendy's before doing errands at Target. (Yeah, I know, great date!) We saw a family of about 3 or 4 kids with their parents at Wendy's and commented to each other about how well behaved they were compared to all the other snots in the fast food joint. Surprisingly enough, we bumped into the mother and children at Target as well.
I stopped her to tell her how well behaved the kids appeared and that she was doing a great job. I just figured the only time people usually comment on children is when they misbehave and she deserved to hear compliments.
Yes, great advice. But always so hard to heed in the moment.
I love that this woman went and shattered any stereotype you had of her. Way to sneak that in on us! :)
During the move, I've been coming across so many pictures of Bones as a baby and toddler. I feel like the 8 years went so fast. I've been reminding myself to slow down a lot lately.
Funny how those reminders can come from the most unlikely of sources, eh?
I couldn't agree with Ms Uber Snob more.
wow, this could not have come at a better time. I went to Target today and had a miserable experience with my screeching 2 year old. Now I'm about to cry thinking about the days when he won't want to talk to me!!!
Yeah, Metro Mom is right. I have teenagers and totally agree with her.
Frani
How awesome for her to remind you! And, by extension, all of us :)
Heidi
Wow! That is SO not what I thought was going to happen. Glad to hear she wasn't a total bitch and I'm glad to hear you got something from it. Funny how life works, isn't it?
Why don't I ever get helpful advice when I'm out and about? I get things like "I think he wants you to pick him up" to which I want to say, "How did you guess? Was it the fact that SHE keeps saying up? You are so very observant."
That woman? Was wise.
That is sweet. Yes, it's so true that children grow so fast.
It's sometimes hard to remember to enjoy things when they are getting on your last nerve and keep farting on your lap.
That is SO not what I thought you were going to say. YAY Metro Mom! Right ON!!
This is so true, and I love it whenever I'm reminded. Because I do need the reminding.
So true, so true.
Great when people catch you off guard.
when I was pregnant I sat with 2 moms at school (I should say parents of my high school students). They were way candid about things, but one story stuck with me - she talked about the advice of "enjoy it b/c you'll blink and it's gone" and she remembers when her daughter was abt 3 months old and just horrid and holding her and looking at her and saying "I'M BLINKING I'M BLINKING!" And now her baby is off at NYU :)
Great advise. Makes me thank my mom who always says, "listen to them breathe as you put them to sleep, but really listen. Read to them and enjoy it! And most important, remember that the day will come when they wont want you around!" Great note to self! Sometimes we are in the wrong and not they! Thanks for sharing:)
Just as I've written in... www.makimeji.com. I am actually feeling senti these past few weeks.
And yes, I'm blogging over there too. Hope to see you around.
So true, so true. Preach on, sister!
Oh so true. My son is 16 and trying to grow up way too fast. I realize I have less than three years left with him at home, before he goes off to the Big Bad World. I'm desperate to hang onto and remember every moment I can.
Good advice you got there. Thanks for passing it along!
:o) BJ
It's nice to get a good random advice that really makes you stop and think. :) I've needed this same advice as well. I think we all do.
Great advice! I view our obnoxiously loud shopping excursions as a public service--I'm sure the way we all behave makes others feel much better about their parenting skills! Too soon they'll be big enough to shop without whining, screaming, or ransacking the shelves and I'll miss grabbing Goldfish bags and juice boxes in the snack aisle to hush them up so I can browse the clearance racks in peace :)
You spend the first few years trying to get them to walk and talk. You then spend the next fifteen trying to get them to sitdown and be quiet.
Yes. The best advice.
I love totally unexpected and pleasant comments like this!
And all day I've been thinking how Ironflower won't shut up and how annoying it is. Thanks for the advice.
I gab with my kids in the store and people think I am crazy....mmm, I wanna shop where you shop!
Metro Mom is right. Or you'll be begging him to say something nice to you. Something other than "Talk to the hand" or "Mom, you just don't get it" or "Mom, you are so uncool" or "Mom, don't call me that [the name you have called him since before his birth] in front of his friends." Or there is my favorite aspect of the teen years: The eye rolling accompanied by silence.
(sigh)
Thanks for contributing this post to this week's edition of the Carnival of Family Life, hosted at Confessions of a Novice. The Carnival will be live on Monday, January 28, 2008, so be sure to stop by and check out all of this week's excellent submissions!
JHS
Colloquium
Yes she's right but-- but, I get soo tired of hearing it. I know I'll miss it and yet just once instead of "You'll miss it" I just want someone to say they understand my frustration. Because sometimes when you're working on five hours of sleep and your clothes are held together by snot and banana smears and you just want to get in and out of a store without a crying or whining fit the last thing I need to hear is how I should enjoy it.
Ok, small rant. Yes, it's true.
Aww. I love that Metro Mom was really a softie.
I'm liking that there metro mama. She's smart, and stuff.
What a delicious story. Working moms, especially, should take note (and probably do). It's so easy to get caught up in what other people think.
Wow! Sometimes the people you'd least expect come out with something brilliant. Good on Metro Mom and I'm glad the reminder gave you the opportunity to relax and reevaluate what that moment meant for you.
Everything that happens around us, to us, for us, can be a positive or negative experience. The difference? Attitude.
Such an awesome moment, and such an awesome reminder!
This article has been included in the 4 February 2008 edition of Mom's Blogging Carnival.